If Castlevania was a real place, I think it would be this.

Recently, my girlfriend and I took a mini vacation to Spring Green, Wisconsin. During this outing, we took the time to see a landmark that is both mysterious and legendary, the house on the rock. For those of you that are not familiar with this epic tourist attraction, let paraphrase a brief history on the place. As the story goes, the house on the rock was created by a man named Alex Jordan to spite famous architect Frank Lloyd Wright. Apparently Jordan was a fan of Wright and shared his plans for a building to get his input, and that input was something to the effect of "I wouldn't trust to you to design a chicken coup." Not really the one to take criticism, Jordan began construction of a Japanese style house in the middle of the Wisconsin countryside soon there after.

So as time went by after the house was built, other additions were made and a crazy assortment of objects went on display. Sculptures, antique guns, and more creepy Victorian style dolls than one would ever want to encounter is there for anyone to observe. There is virtually no documentation included in these displays so one is left to wonder why there are there in first place. Or if you think like I do, you wonder if some of these things are absolute BS.

Take for example this photo of a gun behind glass.

Now I am not a gunsmith or anything but the multiple barrels on a single grip really raises an  eyebrow.  They also look like the type of fire arm that would require you to load the gun-power and musket ball manually, which I am sure makes it very impractical. 

Also, how about this monstrosity.

Its grouping with rifles suggests that it is a some sort of blunderbuss. The thing is hanging from chains. Someone wouldn't be able to lift it much less shoot a cannonball out of that thing. And imagine the kick back!

Much later on in the tour, there was a collection of armor and scenes depicting knights battling. Now it would be easy to believe that the armor here is real or at the very least reproductions of armor seen elsewhere. However.... well take a look a these photos.

Yes, that's a dog in what appears to spiked plate mail. I am not really sure how popular dogs were in Medieval Europe.  And I am really not sure how a dog would take wearing large amounts of battle armor.

And in this same scene, we have a war elephant. (Hard to see, but if you ever visit House on the Rock, you'll find that the lighting and glass makes photographs nearly impossible) Yes I am sure that war elephants did exist. But again, their presence with European knights? Its making me think this isn't 100% genuine.

Farces aside, the House on the Rock did have some really interesting things. Automated music machines did play music. There was a sculpture of a whale fighting a giant squid that was scaled 1:1. That's not a typo, the sculpture was HUGE. This whale wasn't just Shamu sized either, it wouldn't be able to fit in the house I grew up in. There were many hidden Easter eggs that the causal observer would pass over. Several of the exhibits in the streets of yesterday told stories. In the room holding the largest indoor carousel in the world (that's there too), you can see the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse hidden amongst angels in the clouds. This is particularly brilliant as the end of the world takes place at the end of the tour. 

So all in all the entire place is very breathtaking. One can argue that this place is fake, only created to take the money from curious tourists. But I don't think that way. The place is one absurdly large art installation, more of a museum of fantasy. Or even one even bigger prank from Alex Jordan himself. Either way you look at it, it was a great way to spend a day away from home.